just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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