So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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