True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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