we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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