Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
