I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
