Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
