He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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