great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just want to make out with him forever
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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