Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize