remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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