There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
