yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
