mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
