You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
