if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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