Who wears a wallet chain?!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
