I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
