Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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