Porn is love you can see.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
