Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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