This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
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