Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
