P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
