fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
