I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
zippers are such a cool invention
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
