I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
