His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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