oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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