Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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