i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
