he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
