I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
