OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
