Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
