): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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