I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
