He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
