i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
