I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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