Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
