Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
