I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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