i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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