she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
