just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
