Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
