I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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