butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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