I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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