gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Randomize
