Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
