I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
