i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
