Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
