bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
