Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
