Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize