You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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