i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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